If you're tired of starting over, stop quitting!

So this is like my 4th time starting over with Insanity. I'm really hating that I have to start over but this time I'm in the right mindset to finish. I went on Sparkpeople today because it helps me interact with people who are doing the same workout programs as I am. I'm hoping to find a fitness buddy and hopefully that will help me to stay accountable for my workout everyday and hopefully I'll have somebody to help me stay motivated and I can also motivate them as well. at the end of each week I am going to either by myself something or treat myself to a certain event and I think that will help me to stay motivated as well. stay tuned you guys and I'll have more updates soon!

That one Insanity workout where you always think you're done, and then...

So today was my second to last workout for the 3rd week of Insanity. I was supposed to do the workout yesterday, but I didn't make good food choices yesterday and my sleep was out of whack, which would have made for a terrible workout. I decided that yesterday would be my rest day and I would continue the last two workouts of the week today and tomorrow, so no time would be lost. Anyways, today was Cardio Power and Resistance, and that workout is still cardio based, but involves more strength training. So if you're ever wondering if you'll be able to get your strength training in with Insanity, TRUST ME, you'll ALWAYS get your strength training in. It was near the last round or workouts, where he says "This is the last one you guys..." and so after the floor sprints, even after doing this DVD a few times in the past three weeks, I'm thinking I'm done...but noooooo..."Okay, come on you guys, we have one last workout to do..." That means hop squats and push ups. Shaun T, I don't trust you anymore, lol. But overall, I am very happy with where I am right now. I've lost 6 pounds, and I have 34 more pounds to go. Whoo hoo!

Sweat and Tears (including Fit test 2 results from yesterday)

I went to sleep last night at about 9. I thought I was getting my sleep pattern back to normal, but that I woke up at 3 in the morning. What! I was kind of upset, because I knew I wasn't gonna be able to go back to sleep. The good thing was that I was gonna eat breakfast in about two hours anyway, so I just did something productive like work on my conducting skills. At 5, I ate breakfast and at 8 I did my workout for Insanity, which was Plyometric Circuit today...definitely not my favorite one. As I was starting the workout, I was beginning to realize how low my energy level was. For some reason, I'm always nervous before a Insanity workout (understandingly), and I sometimes I'm not always pumped to go through the torture of it. This was one of those days where I did not want to do it. Sometimes the days I don't want to do it are my best days, so I was slightly confused as to why my energy level was so low. As I was getting towards the end of my workout, I was getting frustrated and more tired than usual. Maybe I pushed myself harder than I thought I had, but I was definitely getting exhausted. As I was doing the last workout, I was thinking about all the work I having to put into losing all this weight, the battle I have to fight to get to the end of this, and the battle of the mind. Losing weight is really more mental than physical. Your mind controls how well you do and how much you push. Your mindset determines how strong of a will that you have. Towards the end, I started crying, which is weird for me, but I realized how much of a struggle it is. You start questioning your abilities and start asking "Can I really complete this?" In your mind, you have a certain idea of how you want your body to look, but I when you look in the mirror, and you see how long it's taking you to get there, it can become discouraging. Pushing through becomes of a challenge, but if you stay focused on the goal, it keeps you from focusing on your present. You have to learn how to be beautiful where you are. I keep telling myself that if I can still move, I can complete anything. 

Now, to focus on my results of my fit test. I made great progress on every exercise except for 

two. Overall, I did really well. Here are my results between the first fit test and the recent one:

Switch Kicks: 59/70
Squat Jacks: 39/45
Power Knees: 95/105
Power Jumps: 17/25
Globe Jumps: 5/6
Suicide Jumps: 9/8 (Pitful, I know, lol)
Push-Up Jacks: 11/16
Low Plank Obliques: 25/27

Re-post from Another Blogger - Definitely Something Worth Reading...

 Hey, please check out this blog from My Mad World...this blogger posted something very positive. Click the link below!!!

My Mad World: Life's been busy - but I promise I'll update when ...: Life's been busy - but I promise I'll update when I get the chance. I'm officially a Warrior - hubby and I finished the Warrior Dash this...

Goals for the Week!

I thought since I was basically making a to-do list for this week, that I might as well share my goal list with whoever reads my blog. Here are the things I'm planning for this week, some might sound boring, or all might sound boring, lol...just depends on who's reading: 

1) College class schedule - I definitely need to get that set in stone and re-plan the classes I need to take. The schedule I had didn't go as planned, so now it's time to go a different route and take some other classes.

2) Learn how to trim my hair - I really don't want to go to a stylist right now to trim my hair, and I feel much more comfortable doing it myself. I have cut my hair in the past, but a trim is a little different, and I wanna make sure I get it right.

3) Learn more basic skills for conducting - Because I will be working with choir at my camp job, I need to work on my basic conducting skills and add more skills to what I already know. This will also help me in future classes I need to take for my music degree.

4) Eat CLEAN! - I have been struggling with food for a while, and I really want to try eating clean for at least ONE WEEK with absolutely NO JUNK FOOD OR SODA.

5) Cook one clean meal a day - I really want to have better cooking skills, and I feel that this will help me extremely. Also, If I'm going to eat clean for one week, I need to give myself better options, instead of relying on nutrition bars in the morning and other quick packaged foods throughout the day.

6) Learn more make-up skills - In the past, I haven't really worn make-up that much, except for lip gloss and eye-liner, and I haven't worn foundation since high school. I mostly wore foundation in high school because I had acne and discoloration problems in my skin. As foundation became a hassle, I gradually began to use less and less of it, until I stopped using it all together. Since college, my face has cleared up tremendously, and I've just never felt the need for it. Since I own more make-up pallets now, I want to give myself a base to work on, so I need to buy a good foundation, and start learning how to better use these products. 

Now that you've heard my plans for this boring week, let me give you a quick update on the Insanity program. On Tuesday, the second week of Insanity will be completed, and I will be doing my fit test on Wednesday. Since Tuesday is my rest day, I will probably do a light jog around the park, go bike riding, or do one of my 10 Minute Solution dance DVDs. On Wednesday, I will be back on here telling you how well I did on my fit test. It should be a little better than the first day. Okay guys, that's it! Thanks for reading!

Fear is a Dream Killer

This is my second time writing this blog today. I'm kind of upset right now, because I thought I had saved the post I had already prepared, but I'm trying to get over it. Sometimes you have to learn that certain things shouldn't evoke certain feelings out of you, and this is not the sum total of my day. In the blog I planned on posting, I wrote about how recently I had been looking through different fitness videos, success stories, and fitness blogs to keep myself motivated. With my personality type, I get impatient very quickly. I want to see results as soon as possible, but I know from experience that these things take time. It's still hard for me to except the fact that I've gained back the 20 pounds I had lost the year before, plus another 5 pounds. It's like when I lose weight, it comes back with a vengeance! lol. Now I feel like I have to work twice as hard to lose the weight I did before and ultimately reach my goal. I am thankful that I had the strength to stop myself before I gained anymore weight, but this journey is very hard for me. I'm trying to keep myself encouraged, and one thing I've learned going through this journey, and also dealing with other situations in my life,  is that I really have to change my mindset and whole approach on life to get where I need to be. Certain people have told me this before, but another thing I’ve learned is that you can give someone good advice all day long, but only when they realize it for themselves will they be able to internalize it. The first time I tried to lose weight, I sabotaged myself. Of course I had obstacles in my way that hindered me from completing the Insanity program last time, but if I really wanted to, I could have jumped over those hurdles to get to my goal, but once again I gave up on myself. Sometimes I think we sabotage ourselves because of fear, and fear will destroy any path you’re on, if you allow it to take over you. The fear is different for many people, and sometimes we’re afraid of the future, what we’ll become, or whether the decisions we make will makes us worse off than when we started. I feel that sometimes we sabotage ourselves because of fear. For me, it has been fear and sometimes my impatience that has made me fail at times. I want to be better than that, and I want to believe in myself again. I believe that’s what this whole fitness journey is about for me. A change of mind and spirit, a change of heart.

"Use It."

Today, I did better than I though I was ever gonna do. I put everything I had into that workout. I was tortured throughout the workout, but I felt amazing afterwards. It's that feeling of accomplishment.  I took everything that I had been feeling this week, and put it into that workout. I was watching Blade: Trinity earlier this week. I was watching the part of the movie where Drake, the ultimate vampire, had entered into the place where Blade and his crew resided and made weapons and produced plans to take down all vampires through Drake. Well, Drake came in and killed the brains of the operation, I can't remember her name right now, then kidnapped her daughter and one of their partners, Hannibal. When Abigal and Blade came back, Abigal found her dead and was heartbroken and crying. The first thing that Blade said was "Use It....Use It!!!" That was something I could really relate to. You have to take any anger, resentment, or hurt you may feel towards any situation, and USE IT  towards something positive. Use it, not to poison your life, like it may already have, but use it to bring positive things into your life. Use it to get to where you want to be. And you can make it, regardless of any obstacles people try to put in your way. They don't even exist as fair as I'm concerned. The only thing holding you back is yourself. So plan everything you wanna be in life and DO IT!!! Time gives apologies to no one!!! Be who you want to be, and be it NOW!